FatEff

Current weight: 95.3 kg (210.1 lb)

Today is my dog’s birthday. His name is Homero and he’s 12 years old. He’s the best dog in the world. I know because I personally trained him. Everyone who meets him says he’s great. Don’t you wish you had a dog like mine?

Current weight: 95.5 kg (210.54 lb)

I’m losing weight fast after my ass operation. Some good out of all that fucking pain. I bet you guys don’t think about your anus every day. It’s just a hole where poop comes out. Well, when you have (or had) hemorrhoids, you think about that fucking hole a lot. It’s all I talk about these days.

Went to see the doctor, she said I’m healing fast and taking good care of my asshole, so she let me eat at Burger King. I had to order a chicken burger, but still it tasted sooooo fucking good.

What else? I’m now finally triple booting on my Dell XPS M1300. I have Mac OS X 10.5.6, Ubuntu 9.04 64 bit, and Windows 7 RC (Build 7100) 64 bit. They all rock. I use different Operating Systems for different purposes, and I think a good geek should know all three. With that, fuck you Mac fanboys.

Finally, I’ve been meaning to post stuff on this swine flu that’s been going on. I’ll have a bigger post tomorrow. But for now, I’ll leave you with a picture of my girlfriend and I at the supermarket, with our “OMFG swine flu” faces.

Jenny y Mariano en el Superama.

Current weight: 98.5 kg (217.16 lb)

I was discharged yesterday from the hospital. My father took me to my apartment, after getting some medicine. My girlfriend arrived shortly after that to take care of me.

We were having a pretty uneventful evening, no pain or anything, until she went outside to move her car and found insurance guys there. Two stupid fucks crashed and hit her parked car. Wasn’t that bad though. But it did add to our evening.

We went to bed watching The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. I like it, she didn’t.

Woke up this morning thinking I’d weigh maybe 95 kg (209.44 lb), but no. I’m at 98.5 which is roughly what I weighed before my operation. That’s weird because I was on mostly fluids for two days, then fish, tuna and vegetables. I feel good and clothes that didn’t fit before now do, but still.

I’m not allowed to exercise for at least two weeks, so everything will have to be based on my diet. Tomorrow is the Cicloton and I’m going to miss it. That really bothers me. But I’ll come back with a vengeance for the one in May.

Can’t wait anymore. Doctor should already be here with my discharge papers. Hospital has already closed my bill.

My ass is getting better. I just wanna go home, pet my dog, be with my girl. 5 days in a hospital is way too much for me.

Hurts. Plus my medication was wearing off. Still I managed to poo a little bit. I’m no longer on a liquid diet. I’ve had fish, salad, lots of fruits, an omelette this morning. So they aren’t starving me.

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? is playing on TV. My brother is reading next to me. They’re taking me off the IV drip soon, that way I’ll be able to roam through the hospital. I’m sick of my room.

Here’s another pic:

Finally my ass is starting to hurt less. I showered this morning. Tricky, but doable.

My girlfriend was with me all night and this morning. She left after 1 pm. Couldn’t get pictures because she said she wasn’t presentable.

I finally got to eat solids. Fish, salad and fruit. I’m afraid I’ll have to crap that food soon, although I’m told it won’t be a problem.

My brother is here with me. I’ll try to get him to help me on my secret project.

Doctor hasn’t been around to look at my ass. Is she hiding? If she saw it before the operation, she shouldn’t have any problems seeing it now. I’m sure I’ve got a porn star asshole now, real rimjob worthy.

In my last post, I said pain was coming. Man, was I right.

Just as my girlfriend arrived to replace my brother, the pain started. My ass has never, ever hurt this much. This was like a 4 hour ordeal. They put 3 different things in my IV drip and not one was doing the trick.

What was the problem? The IV drip was clogged. Fucking great. Nurse saw it and switched it to my left hand, but I’d already almost screamed at a doctor to get me some fucking morphine. Which she did. So when the IV finally started getting stuff into my system, it was a whole cocktail of drugs.

This helped, and I stopped feeling pain and went to sleep at around 10:30 pm. But I woke up at quarter to 3 and couldn’t sleep. My girl got me this thingie where I could pee while lying on the bed. Trust me, few experiences bring couples closer together than one helping the other pee. Thanks baby!

We saw the catheter video. It’s funny but it lasts close to 10 minutes. There’s a moment where you can see my penis that I’ll probably blur before posting it here, but my screams when the tube goes in and out are soooooo funny.

I can’t sleep, I got my laptop out and decided to post. I’m not in any pain now. My diet has been all liquids. I’m kinda dreading the moment of my first poo. I’ll ask my brother to bring the scale tomorrow so I can weigh myself.

That’s it. Keep reading and remember, you can call me, preferably at decent hours at Medica Sur 5424 7200, room 811. Peace.

I almost forgot. A friend who is a doctor here saw my father walking out and came by to visit. Thanks Lily! Here’s our pic together.

It’s all on tape. Well, not on tape, but I did have my webcam going when it happened.

A couple of hours ago, I tried to pee and couldn’t squeeze more than a few drops. Thought nothing of it. Problem was, I started to swell up and really wanted to go to the bathroom, but just couldn’t. It got so bad that I almost scream. A nurse put a glove full of hot water on my gut, but it did nothing. Finally she went with the catheter.

Now, let me just say I won’t be publishing that video here, at least not without some mayor edits. You can see my johnson with a tube going into it. My screams are priceless.

My ass is starting to hurt a little. I’ll probably be in pain later.

They came to take me at 7:30 am. Didn’t get a chance to post. They took me to pre-op. I stayed there for almost an hour. Then it was straight to the OR where I got a shot in my back. I started feeling numb from the waist down. Soon after I was asleep.

I woke up near the end of the operation. I didn’t feel anything, but the doctor was telling everything was going fine and that I’d be out soon. I fell asleep again.

Woke up in another room. Felt something pressing against my leg. I tried to grab it to move it when I realized I was grabbing my dick. I was so numb I couldn’t recognize my own penis! Fell asleep yet again for a while till they moved me back to my room, where my father was waiting.

I contacted my girlfriend, she’s coming in a few hours from Toluca to be with me.

So far, I don’t feel any pain. But I think that’ll change when the numbness fades. Also, I’m very hungry and thirsty, but they won’t give me anything till 5 pm.

That’s me and my dad. I have a mark on my face, from the breathing tubes probably.

It’s 1:30 in the morning, got surgery in 7 hours. A nurse came by to put an IV in my hand. She tried my arm twice but couldn’t get a vein. Third time was the charm.

Anothe doctor took blood samples, maybe 5 vials. I’m kinda sleepy now. They told me they’d give me a sleeping pill. I’m not sure I even need one. This will probably be my last post before the operation. See ya soon.

Check my hand out: